Things that change when you have a baby

• Every day is a surprise.
• Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for farts and poop!)
• You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
• You become a morning person.
• Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
• You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth.
• You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have
• You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night
• Silence? What's that?
• You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule
• You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one."
• You learn that taking a shower is a luxury.
• You realize that you can love a complete stranger
• You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place.
• You finally figure out the real reason you have those breasts!
• You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like "ahhh" and "oooo."
• You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
• You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
• You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
• You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
• Your heart breaks much more easily.
• You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.